Holy Parenting

I really enjoyed Holy Parenting: Making the Common Sacred by Benjamin Kerns.  There were parts I couldn't say I agree with, but even still, I took away a lot that I can apply to my own life.  Of all of the parenting books I've read, this one gives the most practical tips for fulfilling Deuteronomy 6 - that of bringing the LORD into every part of the day, impressing His Word on our children.

His basic premise is this:
"Instead of being crushed by guilt and shame for not being able to get up and shower and have a quiet time before your kids wake up at 6:00, maybe it's time to stop and ask God what sort of new rhythms of relationship and growth He is inviting you into."  (Kindle Location 210)



"There is no such thing as quality time.  Raising a toddler is all about quantity time.  During all the time we have together, we add little bits of sand and dirt to the concrete mixture.  Little by little these conversations, experiences, and activities build the foundation for kids' love and trust in you --and in God." (753)

"Spiritual discipline is not about us working harder.  It is about us responding with an open heart to invitation to walk even closer with our Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer."  (953)

"What if this invitation that God has for us is not one more thing that we are to add onto our plate, but simply an invitation to become aware of something we're already doing, to become aware of our spiritual breathing?" (1042)

He is much influenced by Brother Lawrence's Practicing the Presence of God, which I also loved.  

"Practicing the presence of God is reminding ourselves that we are spiritually breathing.  More than oxygen for our lungs, we are connected to God through the breath of the Holy Spirit."  (1085)

And now for the application of this:
1 - In the morning - Eat breakfast together.  "These tastes and smells, combined with the reality of us sitting together as a family, looking at each other, and interacting, are creating deep pathways for memories of value and love between our children and us.  The simple act of saying grace and attempting a family question sets patterns for prayer and interaction that cereal in front of the television can never replicate." (1181)
2 - During the day - Get off the computer and focus on each other.  This could take the form of a fast from Facebook for certain times of the day or one day a week.
"The way our children understand that they are valued and known is not by comments on their Facebook photos, but by us -- their parents -- speaking their love language."  (1254)
and
"It would be an awful thing to ingrain in the psyche of our children that our computers and phones are more important t us than the actual interaction and presence of our children." (1310)
and
"We too are helpless children who are in desperate need of love and affection, and God is our parent who is never too busy or distracted to get down onto our level and care for us." (1328)
3 - At night - Create a sacred rhythm of putting the kids to bed, including a time for daily reflection.
"We reflect back on the places where we saw God show up, the places where God probably did show up but we missed it in the moment, the places we partnered with God in His values and purposes, and the times in the day when our selfishness, pride and rebellion got the better of us."  (2337)
"By simply asking them what was the best part of their day, we get to help shape the story of their day with God as the hero, pouring out His love and blessing on them.  When we ask them to reflect on the worst part of their day, this usually provides an opportunity to reflect on conflict or them not getting their way."  (2353)
"The best part about helping our kids reflect on the best and worst part of the day is that we are helping them develop a worldview where God is in the center and gets to be thanked for His numerous blessings.  We also help our kids unload the sin and garbage in their lives." (2358)
4 - Finally...the Bedtime Prayer.
Our kids can learn to pray with some easy starters: Dear Jesus, today I am thankful for...some of the things I love about you are...Please forgive me for...Tonight I would like to pray for... then he suggests we end with saying the Lord's Prayer.